hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
