Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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