Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
