so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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