i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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