btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
