spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
