imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize