just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
