Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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