Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
