he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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