Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
