Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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