it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
