Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
