$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
