do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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