have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You pole danced in your parka.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
