I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
