Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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