another moral hangover. fuck.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
