I want to stick my p in your. b.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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