oh god the rape fog is back!
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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