FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
This baby is an asshole
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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