I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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