Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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