I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
