so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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