Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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