so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
