I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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