Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
