READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
