If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
