Is it because I queefed?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
