either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
