no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
