I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
