Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize