dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
