Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
