Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
We named our party play list daddy issues
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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