We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
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