no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
