also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
