Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
