Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
wow bdsm is so cute
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