I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
