I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
