Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize