i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
