Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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