I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
