No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
