I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
