you have to choose: penises or morals?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
